Kids hate their veggies

Perhaps you've encountered this scene before.

A Kid and his Mom go grocery shopping in this great, crowded supermarket with great, narrow lanes. Kid tugs at hassled Mom's skirt, and when his mom turns around all she sees is a huge bag of candy, and the most cheeky, suggestive grin ever.

Now imagine that he was holding a great big bag of tow-gay instead.

Then, you would have seen everything.



And now, for the funniest joke in the world.





"In 1945, Peace broke out." Hilarious!

P.S. Now you know how the noseless dog looks like.

Murder, he wrote. At 1/24/2007 08:40:00 pm

Any resemblance to real-life events are strictly coincidental.

We were tasked to act as role-players in the summary exercise of an area security operations package. While it was fun wrecking havoc at a mobile vehicle checkpoint manned by our counterparts from one guards, in the quiet periods in between details I couldn't help but feel uneasy.

And this sense of unease was brought about precisely because it was so easy. It was so easy to make the SectCom of the checkpoint start squirming, not knowing how to react. On one hand they were to maintain the integrity of the checkpoint, but on the other they had to bear in mind all the sensitivities that came along with being part of an occupying force.

It's one thing to search a vehicle, but to approach it in the knowledge of the distinct and real possibility of a car-bomb? Do you fire at a rioting mob to protect your soldiers, one that includes innocents?

In an age of information and the almost ubiquitous media, it is a little inevitable that the misdemeanours of soldiers in combat will be captured and broadcast. But before you pass judgment, before you abhor and denounce the barbarous actions of troops, pause and think. Hard. In a barbaric environment, sometimes the hardest thing is to prevent from moulding to your surroundings. Because if survival mandates you to be cruel, then it would take more than a man to uphold his values.

Before you judge and paste labels on a man, walk a mile in his boots. Before you deem him unworthy of anything. Because a family is only as close as its most distant member. And it would be a right shame if he was pushed away.

Murder, he wrote. At 1/20/2007 07:50:00 pm

And a Happy EPL New Year to you!
taken from football365.com

Football365's 2007 Crystal Ball (Part One)

ManYoo look to sign Bergman, Stevie G takes up a role on the right (of Peruvian politics) and Stewart Downing releases a tale of forbidden love. Alan Tyers takes a look ahead to 2007...

JANUARY
* 35-year-old Henrik Larsson is a disappointment but Sir Alex Ferguson refuses to acknowledge that the former Celtic legend may be past his best. "These Scandinavians are model professionals and can play on for years," insists Sir. To prove it, he signs Brian Laudrup on a three-year deal.

* Liverpool's Rafa Benitez defends himself against criticism that he is not playing Steven Gerrard in his best position, saying, "Stevie is proving himself an extremely competent goalkeeper."

* Sven-Goran Eriksson is appointed manager of model Premiership club Charlton Athletic, names David Beckham as captain and vows that Becks will be selected for every game. Real Madrid point out that Beckham is still contracted to them, but Sven insists his mind is made up and that Beckham's record for Charlton (he's never been on the losing side) speaks for itself.

* After her successful campaign with Asda's fashion range, Colleen looks for other upmarket endorsement opportunities for herself and her Wayne. An excited spokesperson reveals, "Wayne is perfect as the new face for Spud U Like."

FEBRUARY
* Despite having a broken leg, Stewart Downing is selected for England's friendly against Spain. He sits quietly, in a bath chair, on the left side of midfield for the full 90 minutes. McClaren declares himself "delighted with the lad's contribution".

* Hearts dictator Vladimir Romanov sacks all the remaining Scottish players in the squad, citing "gross insubordination" and "Scottishness, innit".

* Freddie Shepherd has a brainwave and enquires if Titus Bramble might maybe, possibly, have a Scottish grandma or be causing pie-related unrest in the dressing room.

* After a year's work, Lord Stevens concludes that some football agents may be a bit dodgy. His next inquiry will focus on the alleged Catholicism of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI.

MARCH
* A disappointing performance against Andorra causes more heat for Steve McClaren. He explains that the players were suffering a World Cup hangover again, but this time it's because of the Cricket World Cup. A nation sighs.

* Vladimir Romanov gets rid of the rest of the Hearts squad, telling a press conference: "They had to go. They were looking at me funny."

* Brian Laudrup is not quite firing on all cylinders but still Sir Fergie refuses to concede the point. A stunning transfer coup sees Tomas Brolin arrive at Old Trafford.

* Craig Bellamy is added to George W Bush's 'Axis of Evil'.

APRIL
* Despite media reports to the contrary, Steven Gerrard insists he is happy with the role Rafael Benitez has handed him, saying, "I'm very happy on loan at Widnes and I feel my scrummaging skills are coming on with every game."

* Tomas Brolin requires the use of a small crane to get onto the pitch, but Sir Alex is convinced that his transfer policy will soon bear fruit. Lennart Johansson is signed to play on the left side of midfield.

* Stuart Downing releases his autobiography, 'McClaren And Me: A Forbidden Love' (Barton Press, £4.99).

* Mentalist Korean leader Kim Il-sung asks for permission to leave the Axis of Evil, saying that Craig Bellamy "scares him".

MAY
* Despite Chelsea being nine points ahead with only one game to play, Richard Keys opens his coverage of the final match of the season by saying, "This title race is going right down to the wire - it's still anybody's."

* The Champions League final is played. Arsène Wenger is still complaining bitterly about the refereeing in last year's.

* A final throw of the dice sees Sir Alex enquire about the availability of Ingmar Bergman to add some firepower from the United bench.

* Wembley is absolutely, definitely, no question about it, going to be ready for the Cup Final in 2008.

JUNE
* England's national team look forward to a month of doing nothing whatsoever. Frank Lampard explains that they enjoyed it so much last summer that they thought they'd do it all again this year.

* Vladimir Romanov bans Hearts fans from Tynecastle, telling them "he doesn't need their sort ruining things" and begins trying to persuade Lithuanians to emigrate to Scotland in order to provide some support for the team. However, the slogan 'People of Lithuania: Sick of a harsh climate, terrible diet and rampant alcoholism? Then come to Scotland!' falls foul of the advertising standards authorities.

* Steven Gerrard's patience looks to be wearing thin but he puts a brave face on Benitez's latest role for him. "I'm not the sort of person to shirk a challenge and I think I can be a big success as the Minister for Fisheries here in Peru," he says.

* Saga Holidays launch Club 58-70, for older ladies looking for a bit of a fling in their summer break. More promotional work beckons for Rooney, W.

Alan Tyers



Steven Gerrard out of position. LOL!

Murder, he wrote. At 1/06/2007 10:14:00 pm