ramblings: 07/01/2005

Saturday, July 16, 2005

I ripped this off someone's blog .. I can't remember who. Whoever you are, good on ya.

Here's an article from soccernet.com, celebrating its tenth anniversary with some of the best quotes its seen over the decade. I liked it, particularly as it got toward the end.

10 of the best... Quotes

Phil Holland

1, 'Let's have coffee'

Those familiar with QPR boss Ian Holloway will know that, in journalistic parlance, he's 'good copy'. A point that was underlined when he offered the following pearl of wisdom after his side's below-par performance against Chesterfield in 2003.

'To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled.

'Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi.
'She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee.'

2, 'If I'd had a gun...'

In 1998 Dwight Yorke moved from Aston Villa to Manchester United in a £12million deal.
Villa manager John Gregory's reaction made it clear that he was not impressed with Yorke's decision to move and was in no mood to forgive, or indeed, forget: 'If I'd had a gun, I would've shot him'.

3, 'Never, never, never...'

Real Madrid president Florentino Perez was vehement in his denial that he had no plans to sign David Beckham: 'Never, never, never, never. Nothing. Never, never, never. Not now. Not ever.' Shortly afterwards the same Florentino Perez welcomed the same David Beckham to the club following a £25-million move from Manchester United.

(Still, it's easy to get confused, especially if you're Mr Beckham, who memorably said: 'I definitely want him [son Brooklyn] to be christened. But I don't know into what religion yet.' Oh, and before leaving United did nothing to dissuade rumours of brain cell deficiencies by stating: 'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.')

4, 'I'm a special one...'

He came, he saw, he conquered. Chelsea unveiled new manager Jose Mourinho just days after he had won the Champions League with Porto in 2004. It was suggested that he was arrogant. He didn't care.

'Please don't call me arrogant because what I'm saying is true. I'm European champion, so I'm not one of the bottle. I think I'm a special one...We have top players and, sorry if I'm arrogant, we have a top manager.

5, 'You were only a goalkeeper!'

After Pope John Paul II passed away earlier this year Diego Maradona, the now-unhinged, once best player in the world, recounted an exchange when he met the pontiff.
'So, yes, I fell out with the Pope. I went to the Vatican and I saw that the ceilings were made of gold. And I heard the Pope saying he would take care of the children, but if so, sell the ceiling, tiger! You've got nothing going for you. You were only a goalkeeper!'

6, 'Love it!'

Christmas 1995. Kevin Keegan and his Newcastle United side were top of the League and would go onto open a 12-point lead over Manchester United, only to crumble on and off the pitch, Keegan famously losing his cool in a post-match interview.
Alex Ferguson had been waging a psychological war against his title rival and following intense bombardment toward the end of the season Keegan cracked. After a nervy 1-0 win over Leeds, Keegan reacted to Ferguson's goading that teams tried harder against his side than the Magpies.
An infuriated Keegan shook his head, wagged his finger and ranted: 'I would love it if we beat them. Love it'. Somewhere, a Scotsman lifted a glass of red and smiled the smile of the contented. The battle was won.

7, 'I did not say them things'

In early 1999 England manager Glen Hoddle was facing calls to resign after proffering his less-than mainstream views on spirituality. Speaking to ITN news doyen Trevor MacDonald, Hoddle dug himself a deeper hole.

'The only reason people are saying I should resign is that they are saying I have come out and said that people disabled and handicapped have been paying for their sins and I have never ever said that.

'I don't believe that. At this moment in time, if that changes in years to come I don't know, but what happens here today and changes as we go along, that is part of life's learning and part of your inner beliefs. But at this moment in time I did not say them things and I want to put that on record because it has hurt people.'

Despite his protests, Hoddle, had previously told The Times newspaper: 'You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains. Some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. I have nothing to hide about that. It is not only people with disabilities. What you sow you reap.'
Hoddle went on to resign amid accusations of a media 'hatchet job'. But he wasn't missed by the players, who, after years of ego-massaging under former-manager Terry Venables, were shocked by Hoddle's man-management techniques, or lack of them, as well as his high opinion of himself.

Behind the manager's back the players nicknamed Hoddle 'Chocolate', because he'd eat himself if he could.

8, 'Football. Bloody hell.'

'At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you'll not even be able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don't you dare come back in here without giving your all.'

Not all halftime team-talks have the desired effect, but Alex Ferguson's one at the Nou Camp in the 1999 Champions League final certainly did.

With the game all but over, United somehow scored two late goals to steal the Cup away from Bayern Munich. By the end of the game, lost for words, Ferguson was reduced to: 'I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Football. Bloody hell'.

9, 'Prawn sandwiches'

In November 2000 Roy Keane, a man not known for holding his tongue, railed against the lack of atmosphere at Old Trafford during a crucial Champions League game and launched a thinly-veiled broadside against Manchester United's new corporate fans.

'There were one or two stray passes and they were getting on players' backs. It's out of order. I don't think some of them can even spell football, let alone understand it. Away from home our fans are fantastic. But at home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don't realise what's going on out on the pitch'.

In fairness, Keane's attack on the 'fans' who were helping pay his £50,000 plus weekly wages, was at least more polite than his tirade against the Republic of Ireland manager Mick McCarthy in a team meeting on the eve of the 2002 World Cup.

'Who the f**k do you think you are, having meetings about me? You were a crap player, you are a crap manager. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are manager of my country and you're not even Irish, you English c**t. You can stick it up your b******s.'

10, The wee man

Gordon Strachan has been sorely missed since he stepped down from his job performing miracles at Southampton. Thankfully 'the wee man' is back and attempting to fill the considerable managerial boots left vacant at Celtic. Hopefully we can look forward to some more gems from the eminently quotable one.

Reporter: 'Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?' Strachan: 'No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, 'no', I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless'.

Reporter: 'Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?'
Strachan: 'You're spot on! You can read me like a book'.

Strachan: 'I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Augustin Delgado'.

Reporter: 'Gordon, can we have a quick word please?'
Strachan: 'Velocity' [walks off].

Reporter: 'So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?'
Strachan: 'What areas? Mainly that big green one out there'.

Friday, July 15, 2005

k i've been under a bit of unwelcome pressure to blog from many people. making unfounded theories and observations. nah just kidding. I like pressure. really. just as much as how i like the feeling of a wedgie up my butt crack.

For the record I do not enjoy that feeling.

Hmm. I'm a little disappointed with my results. B,E,E,O,4.

A quick update. The more memorable things that happened to me this past few days.

Aye. Ting's lesson on thursday. Straight after PE. Together with 2T3. Sat between peter and dhanesh. Phew. Stink central. There was this one point quite a few of us pointed out a mistake on her part. She got a little flustered and said " Hey don't blame me! I've been talking since 1pm! " At which I said "Then maybe you should stop." I believed it to be under my breath, but apparently not. Also apparently dhanesh said at the same time "who ask you to have extra lesson" but I didn't hear it, funnily.

Yeah then I could have sweared she made eye contact with me when she said "What did you say?"

I was momentarily stunned but then quickly replied, oh i just said that i felt like doing the hip hop. ( long and rather embarassing story behind this. to do with pe periods. dont ask.) Some sniggered. TIng then asked me to go to the back of the class and perform ( strange. if she wanted me to perform you'd think she'd make me go to the front ). Mumbled some lame excuse but maria from t3 said don't worry, yiqian will gladly join you. how mean. ( again, a rather complicated story here.) The class burst out laughing.

Inami dhanesh and i went down after ting's lesson to play soccer. saw some odac ppl there. It was raining and they decided to have a nice, relaxed game in consideration of the slippery concrete. Luckily the pace was slow if not we would have been massacred. In the end our team won like 5-4. Dhanesh scored two goals but he knows who he should thank ;). The one thing I really regret about that match was this beautiful chip from bryan that sailed in my direction. I was trying to glance it in to the goal but alas i leapt a tad too late as I could feel the wind created by the ball as it whizzed past my head. dang. The one scary moment was when I almost let in a goal to this girl, olivia i think. Not to sound politically incorrect or anything, but its bad enough a feeling to let in a goal, let alone ... luckily it hit the post after i parried it lol.

Good thing is, my ball which was black and stuff, got cleaned by the rain water and is now sparkling and back to original condition! almost. Oh oh oh on the subject of balls,

Question: What's the similarity between a priest and a christmas tree?

Answer: The balls are just for decoration.